Korea Welcomes Us!
FINALLY in KOREA & it’s hit, this is real, I am here for a year?! AHHH. good news, the people are fantastic, already had a night out with everyone from Orientation and even better news I got a cell phone today (which USA can call for free!), bank accountant, debit card, and the toilets here wipe for you.
In Korea… the present meets the Jetsons and going to the bathroom is quite the experience. Firstly, you enter and go what the hell is that? Is there a TV in here? A little remote with 15 odd buttons sits adjacent to the bowl and there is a plastic wrapped around the seat. To begin this process, you hit a button so the plastic automatically changes and you get a fresh new seat! Then the fun begins…. I look to my right and I kid you not on the wall is an “Etiquette Bell” When pressed it sounds like a toilet flushing so strongly it might pull you through it. Like an airplane flush. Now you can do your business to the sound of a vacuum flusher sucking you under and without anyone having to listen to any grunts or escaping bursts. No need to look for toilet paper… that’s all in the remote. Tip 1: When you meet a toilet that wipes your butt for you, don’t press buttons at random, things spray and squirt in all sorts of directions, areas, crevasses, it’s just a bad idea. Instead look at the nice pictures accompanying the buttons. I didn’t at first and almost took a butt spray to the eye, that could have been a very serious & detrimental situation. There’s a button with a picture of a butt with a spray gun, a butt with a squirt gun, and a lady smiling with a very happy face, a toilet seat heating button, and of course the fan dryer. Don’t get these mixed up, if you go in the wrong order you could walk out looking very wet! I tell no lies. The toilet actually hoses you off, warms your ass, and then dries it for you. Machines now doing your dirty business for you. Honestly now, how lazy have we become? I’ve really come a long way from trying to aim in a hole in the ground.
Toilet business aside, we move into our apartment next week, and this orientation is AWESOME. They are giving us an intense crash course on how Korean culture is literally a 180 to the Western world, everything is SO different. Our class is made up of 70 people, from the 550 people at this orientation! Everyone in our class are also moving to Ulsan, so already made friends with the neighbors. It’s going to be an awesome year.